It’s well remembered; the verses of the wise men, rehearsed a thousand times in our minds. Locked with gates made of the strongest metal no man can find. Yes, the verses of those wise men were so wise of their times, now we strike thunder for change but yet in vain, knowing we shall walk through those verses in time.
"Rahal, where are you going at this time?"
She stood there, confused with where her son could be going at this time of night. Her face illuminated by the moonlight shining through the open door way. I could still hear the sound of every car passing by, now the sound somewhat resembled calm ocean waves and in front of me was a face that could justify the beauty of those soothing ocean waves. Her eyes travelled from my face to what I was wearing and finally rested at the suitcase beside me. I grasped the handle of my suitcase as if scared my mother would pull it away from me but her expression said otherwise. The confusion across her face told me that she just could not conclude in her mind I was leaving.
"Ma...I..." I stuttered. I could not find the words I wanted to say. Maybe because I myself did not know what I wanted to say to her. I promised myself I would not bring tears to her and yet here I was in a situation where my mother will cry if I told her the truth. In those moments where she wanted to hear what I had to say, in those moments of dead silence, I could see a glimpse of the sadness this house would be consumed in because of what I'm intending to do.
"Ma, I'm leaving. I need to do this.. I just.. I can't stay after what I've done to you and dad.. I"
I could feel it, that small drop of tear slowly running down my cheek and in just a few seconds that tear became a waterfall. I silently cried and she listened to me cry. Even though she was standing so far away from me, her eyes alone could comfort me as if she were hugging me. I tried so hard not to cry, my mind felt as if it was ready to explode yet there was silence. All she did was stand there and not say a word. I had no clue whether she was trying to find her own words or whether she just did not want to say anything. Maybe she expected me to walk back into the house and go upstairs to sleep but I could not do that any more. I had to leave. I had to be who I wanted to be.
I turned around and took one more step outside but stopped, I could hear the sound of my mother. She finally began to cry.
"Rahal, I love you my son. I love you so much my Rahal. Don't go Rahal.. don't.." Her hands were hiding her face and she trembled yet it did not feel as if she was talking to me. She was praying to God as if a last minute prayer might change this situation. As if she expects to wake up any time now. She fell down to her knees and silently cried. I left my suitcase and everything else I carried to hold her. I ran as fast as I could just so my mother knows I'm there. My arms were wrapped around her. We both sat there, we both were on our knees comforting each other. We both sat there silently crying. My lungs were gasping for breath yet I just couldn't let go of her.
"Just because your dad got angry you want to leave? Rahal, please... please don't do this." My mum's tears drenched my shirt until even my heart wished to part with me.
"I have to do this." I said.
She continued to hold me and my phone vibrated yet again. My transport lay wait outside, yet I did not want to break this moment.
"I love you Ma."
I got up took my things and closed the door behind me.
"I'll be back in your arms soon, I promise"
With those last words and with those last moments passed by, I stood in front of my transport. Behind me I could see the window of my mum and dad's room. The curtains were closed but I could vaguely see the lights turned on, I remembered that whenever the lights are turned on in my mum and dad's room, it most probably always means my mother is praying. I felt happy because I knew she was praying for me, to find my way.
I had called for a taxi cab.
"Oxford circus train station in central London please." I replied.
"At this time of night? I hope you got someone waiting for you there."